Relationships

I've had many failed relationships over the years (as we probably all have at one time or another.) Some friendships, some romances, some family-based but all affected me in one way or another. As a relationship fails and you crawl out from the wasteland of rubble, you wonder. What did I do wrong? How could I have have been better, done better. Was it my fault? We all carry fault in every failed relationship; it's never just one person's fault. But I think I tend to lead the pack with the burden of blaming myself. I mean, how can one person fail so many times over and over in such similar ways? Why do I never learn or adjust my way of thinking, change so I can be a better person for my current relationships?

Sometimes I think the failure, or realization that it's failing, isn't known until way after the fact. Sometimes I think you realize it as it's happening and that's almost harder to deal with. I look at my current relationships and I wonder which ones are in the midst of failing that I'm not yet aware. I worry that my relationship with my children are failing because I don't communicate with them effectively, that I am "messing them up" or setting them up for failure in their own future relationships. I have one of each - a boy and a girl - and I always worry that if I fail them, they'll move on and then have their own failed relationships. Will they look back and think that it was my fault? Will they blame themselves? I know I can't prevent them from failure nor can I control their relationships but I do want them to be successful in life and even if a relationships ends, realize that it doesn't have to be considered a failure.

That's the biggest thing I've learned. Just because a relationship ended doesn't mean it's a failure. Some are just meant to end; some people just aren't meant to be friends. Some family members will never be as close as they once were.

In the end, I hope my children learn that despite our communication issues

~with much love, always

100 Simple Pleasures

I was reading one of the many blogs I follow one morning before beginning a crazy day of kids' high school registration, work, dropping daughter off at the mall with her friends, laundry, making dinner, etc and found this great list of "100 Simple Pleasures" on The Wellness Doer's website. I only read through part of them before I felt inspired to create my own list. I'm going through some personal family issues right now and I think I could really use some time to remind myself how wonderful life really is.

However, rather than take the time to sit down and come up with 100 all at once, I'm going to spread them out. My goal is to do one of my #100simplepleasures per day and Facebook, tweet or Instagram it and then update the blog as often as I can remember to do so.

These simple pleasures won't be in any particular order; I'll just list them as I think of them. It may depend on what I'm doing at the moment, who I'm with, or just a passing thought whilst in the throes of chaos at work. Who knows. :) Maybe you'll be inspired to find your own simple pleasures.

1. #Starbucks unsweetened iced tea
2. The Palm Springs Windmills - I love seeing them every single time we drive back to CA to visit family and friends. Every. Single. Time.
3. The laughter and joy I see on my kids' faces when they're happy.



~with much love, always

#truth

It's hard to tell what is really true any more. With all the social media taking over people's lives, the only access we have to one's life is what we are fed through, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Instagram, WhoSay, SnapChat, Vine or a myriad of other social sites that I don't even know about. Even when you have an actual conversation with someone, they usually tell you what you could easily find out just by going to Twitter or Facebook or one of their profile son any of the aforementioned sites. There doesn't seem to be much of real information being shared.

I'm going to call myself out in this one. I took a photo the other day of a sunset and it was really pretty. But the pressure of social media got to me and I decided it wasn't quite perfect. So, I used an editing app and I brightened the colors. To be totally honest, I had no idea what I was doing but then the oranges looked beautiful so I stopped and posted it. I didn't say much other than #theviewfromhere and #azsky. But I wasn't being truthful. It WASN'T the AZ sky that I was sharing; it was a dressed up version of it. The left picture is completely unedited while the right is my trumped up version.












I'm reminded of a friend who kept posting all this stuff about how great her life was, how perfect and fun, how she was really living life to its fullest. Everyone thought her life was incredibly fabulous and she was lucky and blessed. But when she talked to her closest friends, you realized that it was all a sham. Her life was NOT as fantastic as she portrayed. Yes, she was going out and having a wonderful time but her marriage sucked, she had a ton of unresolved issues from her childhood, and she was finding ways to mask her pain. But on social media everything was wonderful.

I don't want to live a life that is a lie; because that's what this social media phenomenon is. "Look at me, look how fabulous I am, look how great my life is!" Screw that. Life sometimes sucks, people. Marriages fail, children die, planes disappear out of the sky or crash or get shot down. This is our reality. Do we need to be negative all the time? Of course not. Life is too short for that. But let's be realists and not sugar coat everything. When someone asks how you are, be honest. Who knows, maybe they can offer something that will make you feel just a little bit better. :)

~with much love, always