I turn 40 in 120 days. Four months.

I’ve always said I don’t want to be overweight my entire life. I want the second half of my life to be the healthier half.

I am approximately 30 pounds overweight. I am 5’2” and as of today I weigh 158.6. I really want to be at 130 by my 40th birthday. It will take more dedication than I’ve ever given before. It will require me being tougher with myself than normal.

It’s very important for me to meet this goal. I need my kids to see me healthy, happy, active - all the things I encourage in them.

Weekly weigh-ins will happen to keep me honest and on track.

I’m excited, nervous, anxious - all things that have previously derailed me. Not this time.

When I'm pissed off...

... I tend to clean. I'm pretty sure my husband knows this and does and says things sometimes to push me over the edge so I do go clean.

Anyway, I'm still really frustrated over the plumbing leak, my iced tea maker not working properly, my email on my phone acting up, and the fact that it's freezing ass cold outside and windy as all get out today. So I cleaned my closet and it looks pretty nice. I cleaned the kitchen (sort off, not a deep clean like it needs.) I'm not sure what I'm going to clean next but I know every room in this big house needs some TLC. I'm just afraid of running out of energy halfway through a project.

Or I might just watch a movie. :)

Frustrated...to say the least

Ok, let me preface this post (before I sound like a total bitch) by expressing how grateful I am for having a husband who has a job. And, who has a job that keeps us accustomed to the life we live, the great house we live in, the great schools our kids attend, etc.

However, I am not happy about the fact that said job puts my husband out of town 5 days (4 nights) every single week. I am not happy that whenever something goes wrong or needs to be handled that has to deal with the house I have to call him and tell him and listen to him get frustrated with  me (really??) and then tells me what I have to do to temporarily fix the problem until he can get home.

I am not a plumber, pool tech, sprinkler guy, landscaper, electrician, etc. All the things that seem to need work around here. If something is dirty, I can clean the hell out of it. If something needs to be cooked, I'm on it. If a friends needs to talk, well, trust me, I got that one covered. :) But when there's a plumbing leak, I can only soak up the water. I can't fix the leak, or tell you where it's coming from, or how long it's been leaking. And, with hubby out of town, that means it sits there until he gets home. The kids are now displaced out of there normal routine and their bathroom until it gets fixed. If the sprinklers sprout a leak, you can bet I'm not going to be out there digging up the ground until I find that leak.

I just want my family back together in one house with a normal routine and a dad that comes home every night (other than the occasional business trip.) I'm not a single mom. I hate having to live life like one. I'm done and over with it.

Ok, done complaining. I'm sorry you had to read this but I was/am really frustrated this morning. It just keeps piling up.